THANK YOU, BUZZFEED!

Why, Buzzfeed, why? What have you got against me?

First you say you'll predict if I'll have an arranged marriage or a love marriage, only to tell me I will remain single. Then you tell me I'll end up a cat lady, with the cat-related expenses driving me to bankruptcy.

And now, this!

These Five Questions Will Determine Why You’re Still Single

You got: You’re just too fucking hot.

You are just really, really, really damn good-looking. If anyone stands next to you, they will look like an ugly troll doll. I’m talking, like, troll hair and all. They’re going to look like a 3-inch troll doll. No one on this planet has beauty like yours. Honestly, you’re better off alone, because when you walk there are like beams of light that shine off you and nobody should block that.

Yes. THANK YOU, Buzzfeed! Thank you for telling me I'll remain single for eternity... well, and for telling me why :P No, seriously, thank you!

Wishlist

It's that time of the year when I get asked, "So, what do you want for your birthday?" I never know how to respond to that. And people seem unwilling to accept, "Nothing, thank you, your wishes would be more than enough" for an answer. So here is a tentative wishlist...

- Iker Casillas. Or David de Gea. (I'm loyal to my Spanish footballer dream, and am partial to goalkeepers, in case you didn't know that before. And the little fact that Raphael Varane is French shouldn't be used against him and cost him a place on this list, right? :P)

- some common sense. Preferably drilled into the heads of certain people :P

- coffee. And chocolate. And food. And snacks. At my desk. Whenever I need them. Or maybe a secretary who'll attend to all my alimentary (is that the word? what's that other word starting with a g? No, not gestation... Not digestion either! ) needs...

- something that would cause the tubelight in the corridor to stop working - the one that falls right into my eyes and drains my energy every single day... (I'm not totally evil, so I'm not wishing harm on the other lights at either end of the corridor, just the one in the middle :P )

- the conveyor belt from my imagination, which I get on in front of my building and sit (or even lie down) on until I reach the very door of my hostel :P

- a drumkit. In a soundproof room. Preferably in a house ;)

- world peace ???

- a single rose (but not if you're planning to send me to the house of the Beast! )

I'm almost dozing off right now, so ending here...

(Tip : It's easier to say ok and accept it when I say I don't need a gift :P)