Random updates *

It's been a while since I wrote in here. Laziness and reddit have been accomplices in stealing my time...

***

I went home on Sunday, and on Tuesday, my dad and I were talking, when he mentioned that there had been a monkey sighted in the colony the past couple of days. I asked him if he was calling me a monkey, he denied it :|

It made me remember the day there was a monkey trying to take some fruits from the tree in front of our classroom at my previous university. That evening, I excitedly called my mother and told her, "You know, today there was a monkey in our department". And she said, "But I thought there were already 18 in your class."

(I think for purposes of retaining whatever little good reputation I have, I should refrain from mentioning the incident of the monkey and the pop-corn (assuming I haven't written about it earlier)... No, it was nothing serious/interesting/important, I assure you ;) )

***

I woke up at 5:15 A.M. on  a weekday. By myself and without an alarm. (This has nothing to do with the floods in Chennai, I swear...)

If you ask my brother or his wife, they'll tell you it's part of my preparation to be a proper 'aachaara paati' and pakka 'maami', like the ones in old movies. Their routine is something like this :

- Wake up at 4:00 A.M.
- Clean the doorstep and draw kolams.
- Bath followed by Tulasi pooja. (Hair wrapped in a white towel is compulsory. As is a saree.)
- Wake Lord Husband up after touching his feet. Oh, and with a smile and a tumbler-davara of steaming coffee ready.
- Fill water in the bucket for Lord Husband's bath, ensuring the right temperature. (Optional)
- Stand and serve him breakfast, preferably at least two main items and multiple side-dishes.
- Send Lord Husband to work with his (favourite) lunch cooked and packed and kept ready for him to take.

Well, they also tell me that I might go maapillai-paarthufying, and ask, "Maapillaikku saaraayam kaacha theriyuma?" (Rough translation - 'does the groom know how to prepare liquor?'), or do the standard thigh-slapping gesture (to instill fear in people? I have no clue). They even tell me that I'll probably hold a sickle(?) to the priest's throat and say stuff life, "Oy vaathi, manthratha seekiram sollu" ('oh priest, say the prayers quickly' - in rowdy slang).

I'm NOTHING like either of these extremes, I assure you. Ask anyone who knows me. (Well, except my brother. Or his wife. Or my dad. Or JP. Or SC. Or NCC. )

***

The last time my brother found a Carnatic song on my playlist, he pointed to it saying, "LOOK, A CARNATIC SONG ON YOUR PLAYLIST!!!" I'm wondering what he'll say now that I've again been listening to a lot of Carnatic music of late... :P

But guess knowing my new current mission of wanting to be able to sing 'Enga Area' fully and without mistakes would restore his faith in me ;)

***

Will write in again later... Adios, folks :)

(* - I can almost see my family doing what they call a 'headshake' - some gesture they attribute to me, along with the 'naan kaetaenaa?' ('did I ask?) gesture. :| )

THANK YOU, BUZZFEED!

Why, Buzzfeed, why? What have you got against me?

First you say you'll predict if I'll have an arranged marriage or a love marriage, only to tell me I will remain single. Then you tell me I'll end up a cat lady, with the cat-related expenses driving me to bankruptcy.

And now, this!

These Five Questions Will Determine Why You’re Still Single

You got: You’re just too fucking hot.

You are just really, really, really damn good-looking. If anyone stands next to you, they will look like an ugly troll doll. I’m talking, like, troll hair and all. They’re going to look like a 3-inch troll doll. No one on this planet has beauty like yours. Honestly, you’re better off alone, because when you walk there are like beams of light that shine off you and nobody should block that.

Yes. THANK YOU, Buzzfeed! Thank you for telling me I'll remain single for eternity... well, and for telling me why :P No, seriously, thank you!

Wishlist

It's that time of the year when I get asked, "So, what do you want for your birthday?" I never know how to respond to that. And people seem unwilling to accept, "Nothing, thank you, your wishes would be more than enough" for an answer. So here is a tentative wishlist...

- Iker Casillas. Or David de Gea. (I'm loyal to my Spanish footballer dream, and am partial to goalkeepers, in case you didn't know that before. And the little fact that Raphael Varane is French shouldn't be used against him and cost him a place on this list, right? :P)

- some common sense. Preferably drilled into the heads of certain people :P

- coffee. And chocolate. And food. And snacks. At my desk. Whenever I need them. Or maybe a secretary who'll attend to all my alimentary (is that the word? what's that other word starting with a g? No, not gestation... Not digestion either! ) needs...

- something that would cause the tubelight in the corridor to stop working - the one that falls right into my eyes and drains my energy every single day... (I'm not totally evil, so I'm not wishing harm on the other lights at either end of the corridor, just the one in the middle :P )

- the conveyor belt from my imagination, which I get on in front of my building and sit (or even lie down) on until I reach the very door of my hostel :P

- a drumkit. In a soundproof room. Preferably in a house ;)

- world peace ???

- a single rose (but not if you're planning to send me to the house of the Beast! )

I'm almost dozing off right now, so ending here...

(Tip : It's easier to say ok and accept it when I say I don't need a gift :P)

Romantic phrases through the ages

I went through a phase in high school where I read only Agatha Christie, and another where I devoured all the Perry Mason books in the library near my school. Then there was the Danielle Steele and romantic book phase. (I was trying to read as many as I could lay my hands on, and then came across 'The long road home', which made me want to laugh and roll my eyes, though I suppose it was meant to be serious and sentimental. My mental summary read, "nun loves guy, guy dies, nun loves priest, priest commits suicide, nun loves next guy" or something along those lines).

Anyway, the Danielle Steele phase coincided to some extent with the time I watched Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. (I even had a pencil box that said, "Kuch kuch hota hai... someone, somewhere, is made for you" :P As well as a titanic keychain). Teenage. Figuring out crushes. Making sense of bodily changes. Soppy stuff. Mush. 

That was when I read 'The Promise'. For the longest of times, I was in love with a sentence from the book that went something like, "There was a huge difference between saying 'I love you' and 'I am in love with you' and the gap cannot be bridged" or some such thing. I found it extremely romantic. (Sadly for me, the majority of the people in my class wouldn't even accept that having a crush wasn't the same as falling in love, so I couldn't dream of them ever appreciating the beauty and profoundness of this sentence.)

Since then, I've thought at different times, "Oh, how romantic", when I came across some conversation, a book or a song. 

"I will never let you go away" , "I'll always be with you"and "I want to be with you every minute of the day" were romantic, until the day I decided they were creepy and obsessive to an extreme degree. 

"I'm yours" and "be mine" used to be romantic, too. And then I decided 'owning' a person was too much responsibility and not for me. 

Maybe it's an age thing or maybe I'm finally growing up and getting an idea about the 'mature, sensible and down-to-earth' kind of love, but the lines that've been giving me butterflies of late are :

"I cooked"

"I took out the garbage"

and ...

"I cleaned the house and the bathroom also"

I've never really wanted a prince (I can't afford to date/be with someone that rich :P Well, any prince who does enter my life will of course be insanely rich ;) ). For many years now, my idea of a dream guy was someone who'd cook and share household chores. 

Maybe my heart is finally listening to my head, and that's why I find the idea of a guy cleaning the bathroom extremely appealing.

(Yay! I'm (almost) grown up! Or am I rejoicing too soon?!)

My mind is singing, "Tere liye, hi khaana banaya maine...bathroom ko bhi saaf kiya hoon" to the tune of 'tum hi ho'... So, romantic, no?

Adios!

An open letter from the friend zone

I just came across this earlier today. I've been thinking (yes, thinking mentally, SM!!!) a lot of late (an excuse for procrastination). 

There seems to be a common misconception that it's only guys who get friendzoned and left forever alone. (Kollywood songs I know say the same thing). 

I am tired of being asked, "What? How are you still single?". Then they add, "Oh, but you're so pretty. And intelligent as well. Are you seriously single?" I don't know what to say when someone says, "What? You got rejected? Friendzoned? Really?". Yes. Really. Big deal. I am just glad I wasn't led on with false hopes. 

Do you know of the conversation that goes like this :

Guy - "What do you think of love/relationships?"

You - "..."

Guy - "You know that girl in your class/your friend? I love her. Please help me talk to her."

or the one that goes,

Guy - "Who is that girl? She's gorgeous. Isn't she your friend? Please can you introduce us?"/"How do you think I should approach this girl?"

You - "..."

This has been the gist of many of my conversations from school days until now. So much that even now, if some guy starts a conversation with me, the first thing I wonder about is which of the girls I've been seen with he's interested in...

(On an aside, how do you "love" someone just by seeing them a few times? My mind boggles at the thought...)

So, just for the record, yes, I have been friendzoned. Rejected. And tired of being a 'wingwoman' or whatever. If you are interested in, (or 'love' someone whom you've seen a few times from a great distance), please summon up enough courage to approach them directly. A "sorry, but I'm not interested in you" isn't the end of the world. If you want to talk to me, then come and talk to me directly. (Last week someone told me they were scared to initiate a conversation with me because I'm quiet. :| )

Adios, folks...

(Apologies for a not-really-coherent post).

What are you going to become when you grow up?

Yesterday, SS told me, "You are very funny". I was elated and once again considering a career in comedy. It made me recall the many things (and people!) I have wanted to be, and still do - I'm probably a rival to William Brown when it comes to deciding "what I want to be (when I'm grown up)"...

• I do not recall this myself (owing to have been very young at the time), but my mother tells me I was very keen on becoming either Manisha Koirala or Steffi Graf. No, not just AN actress or A tennis player.
• I wanted to be the author of this voluminous novel that would just "strike a chord" with readers and "provide keen insights into the complexities of the human mind and emotions". (I still want to write, but a novella that would be read by someone other than Ms. MK (upon request, to proof-read), and if it did come out even slightly funny, my life mission would be accomplished)
• A brilliant scientist. Now, I'm just willing to settle for 'scientist', and worry about the 'brilliant' part later. (The ravages of time , the disillusionment setting in with age and all that, you see? Ah, such big and pretentious words and phrases - maybe I should rethink the voluminous emotional drama novel idea :P ) (My cousin, when he was younger, wanted to becomes a 'great scientist' like me - even he had faith in me, so maybe the greatness is an inevitable part of being a scientist)
• A drummer - I would have definitely been one if weren't for a few minor glitches : not having a drum kit, not being part of a band, and not knowing enough of the right kind of people you need to form one. :P
• A playwright - something I considered at one point of time, before I conjured up enough drama and stress to cause an imaginary blackout and eventual abandonment of the idea. 
• A singer - but then I realized it would mean people listening, and no, not the best idea. (I still remember how nervous I was when I had to read a couple of headlines into the mic when it was my turn to read the news after morning prayers in school.)
• A biologist. (Sadly, being Ms. Butterfingers (as SM says) does not seem very conducive to experimental neuroscience or anything else requiring intricate movements)
• A biker. Riding an Enfield. (Of course I can dream ;) ) - I have decided to let it wait until I ride my cycle well enough to meet my own high standards :P
• An activist. (The cause is left vaguely undecided). 
• A housewife. I even imagined what it would be like. But no, I can't really do it. It makes me uncomfortable to have someone else paying for even my coffee, I doubt I'd be happy depending on someone else to take care of my expenses. There's also the possibility of boredom, and the fact that I'm clumsy and impatient - not the ideal combination for a housewife. (Plus, I don't want to cook all the time :P )
• A proof-reader - bad grammar and spelling is sometimes so irritating that I seriously considered proof-reading for free. But I have since decided to try my best to ignore bad writing, instead of wasting my time and energy.
• A translator and tourist guide - I was going to be this super-awesome translator and guide who wowed tourists by speaking to them in their own tongues. But, reality.
• A secretary - but Mr. SC rejected my offer. I had such lovely visions of reading all day, with an occasional replying to e-mails with "Mr. (Prof./Dr. in the future) SC is out of town right now. He shall get back to you at the earliest", while being provided food, accommodation and a salary. Sigh! He calls me 'over-qualified' :|
• A song-writer. I wanted to write such deep thought-provoking songs and lyrics which would still be remembered years later. But then reality struck, and I recalled that the only things I am deeply passionate about - food and books, aren't exactly song material, and the things which seem so profound when I write them at night make me laugh and wonder what I was thinking when I read them in the light of the morning.
• A stand-up comedienne. The recent revelation that I can actually speak when I'm on stage, and also be heard has only rekindled the desire. And also, SS told me I'm very funny. (I'll probably boast about it for a while yet). As did MK, who in fact when a little higher and told me I'm a "genius". 

I wonder when I'll be a grown-up, and what I'll actually be then. :P

So long, folks :)

On becoming (being?) an adrenaline-junkie

I just had a sudden epiphany - I'm becoming an adrenaline-junkie, even if I wasn't one before. I dream of trying white-water rafting & scuba-diving (of course I can dream :P), but it just occurred to me that I do more adventurous stuff on a fairly regular basis.

For instance, today I crossed the road at Indiranagar. (I waited until a big group of people was crossing, but that doesn't make the whole thing any less riskier.) And I don't want to boast, but I regularly cross the road at Banjara Hills. And have even survived Lakdi ka Pool and Tarnaka. If that doesn't prove my inherent courage, I don't know what will. (To clarify, road-crossing is not a hobby of mine, just an unfortunate part of my life.)

I'm even cycling up and down slopes these days, even when there are people walking around. Given my wonderful sense of balance and control, this is a high-risk adventure sport. (Highly risky for the people walking anywhere along the roads I go on.) Why, one day last week, I even cycled down this narrow path, without hitting someone walking from the opposite direction (and more importantly, without falling down myself!) And now, I'm even looking forward to cycling down slopes again :P

I'm loath to blow my own trumpet again, but there are even more instances of my courage and bring-it-on attitude. Like, yesterday, I continued my bath even though there was a big lizard right above the bathroom door. And this evening, I followed a cow (maintaining a respectful distance, of course) for about 5 metres until it disappeared into amidst some trees, and I continued along my way. (To be honest, my first thought on seeing the cow was that I should take the longer road, as this one was unlit, but laziness (and err, an urgent need to pee) made me choose the shorter road. Psst... That's a secret! Now forget that I ever mentioned this. No, no, the real reason was fearlessness. Okay? Get it?)

And hey, my adventurousness extends even to food. Just yesterday I tried a sandwich. (That it had aloo and cheese is another matter altogether.) And I've even been trying stuff like Methi Chaman and Garlic Dosa!!! (At times, I even surprise myself by being this adventurous :P )

Anyway, here's hoping that my new-found (or pre-existing) spirit of adventure remains with me for a long time to come...